Family law mediation is mandatory in Tulsa County. This means that when a family law action is filed, the court will order at least one mediation before the matter will be set for hearing. Family law mediation in Tulsa can be extremely helpful in amicably resolving points of contention in divorce and other family law matters prior to the court hearing arguments and rendering decisions. In order to have the most productive mediation possible, it is important to understand the basics of mediation and to adequately prepare for the mediation.

To know what you can get out of family law mediation, it’s important to understand the basics:

  •  The mediator will be impartial and neutral. The mediator will not take sides and has no stake in the outcome of the dispute. A mediator is not a judge or jury. What the mediator thinks about the merits of your argument(s) is irrelevant.
  • The mediator may provide information relevant to your matter, including information about the law. However, the mediator will not give you legal advice. The mediator is not your lawyer.
  • The mediator will ensure that each participant is permitted to voice their concerns and respond to the concerns expressed by other participants.
  • The mediator will work to ensure that discussions remain civil and are conducted in a neutral, comfortable environment, even when discussions produce strong emotions. The mediator may pause or terminate a mediation in appropriate circumstances.
  • The mediation is confidential. The mediator will not share information revealed during the mediation with anyone. The participants will agree that the mediator shall not be compelled to divulge information about the mediation should the parties end up in court.
  • The mediator will attempt to help you resolve your dispute and keep the focus on the issues.The mediator will help you work toward resolution rather than get caught up on matters that, even if important emotionally, will not tend to work towards resolving the dispute.


The mediator can’t help you figure out what to do with what you have if you don’t know what you have. This is a great time to make lists and have supporting documentation prior to the mediation. In child support cases, make sure to have current income information.  If you are requesting alimony, you should be able to demonstrate the need and be able to show the other side’s ability to pay. If you believe property should be divided a certain way, prepare a list of the proposed split. This information may seem basic, but putting the time into preparation allows you to be as productive as possible. It’s unrealistic to think of reaching a resolution on any issues if both sides don’t have complete information.